School Holidays Incoming: Planning Contact Without Stress

• Posted onJune 15, 2026

Planning contact during the school holidays can feel overwhelming after separation, but with good communication and a child-focused approach, families can make the summer break less stressful for everyone involved.

For recently separated or divorcing parents, the long summer holidays often bring additional pressure. Six – eight weeks away from the normal school routine can create practical and emotional challenges around childcare, work commitments, holidays and shared care arrangements.

While it is natural for tensions to arise, keeping the focus on what works best for the children can help parents navigate the holidays more smoothly.

Why school holidays can become difficult after separation

During term time, routines are often clearer. School provides structure, and childcare arrangements may already be established.

The summer holidays can change all of that.

Common challenges include:

• Balancing work commitments with childcare
• Agreeing how holiday time will be shared
• Managing differing expectations about travel and activities
• Financial pressures linked to childcare or holidays
• Parents spending extended periods away from their children for the first time

For children, the uncertainty can also feel unsettling. Consistency, reassurance and positive communication between parents can make a significant difference.

Planning summer holiday contact arrangements early

One of the most effective ways to reduce conflict is to start discussions early and to confirm your arrangements in writing even if you discussed and agreed them in a conversation – this way you all have something to look back on to verify what was said and you can identify any issues of misunderstanding or misinterpretation.

Leaving arrangements until the last minute often increases stress and disagreement, particularly where annual leave from work needs to be booked, holidays abroad are being planned or childcare needs to be organised.

Where possible, parents should try to agree:

• Dates for shared care during the holidays
• Overnight stays
• Special occasions or family events
• Travel plans
• Methods of communication while children are away

A shared calendar or parenting app can help keep arrangements organised and reduce misunderstandings.

Keeping arrangements child-focused

It can be tempting for separated parents to focus on what feels “fair” for adults. However, family law arrangements should always centre around the child’s welfare and wellbeing.

Children generally benefit from:

• Stability and routine
• Meaningful time with both parents
• Reduced exposure to conflict
• Clear communication and reassurance

Flexibility can also help. Not every arrangement will work perfectly every year, particularly where work patterns or children’s needs change over time.

Coping with time apart from your children

For many separated parents, the summer holidays may involve spending longer periods away from their children than they are used to.

This can feel emotionally difficult, especially after a recent separation.

Practical ways to cope may include:

• Planning activities or time with friends during child-free periods
• Agreeing regular video or phone contact where appropriate
• Avoiding negative conversations about the other parent
• Focusing on helping children enjoy their time with both sides of the family

Children can sometimes feel guilty about enjoying time away from one parent. Reassuring them that it is okay to have fun with both parents is important.

Holidays abroad after separation: what parents need to know

Travelling abroad with children after separation can raise legal and practical questions.

In England and Wales, if a Child Arrangements Order states that a child ‘lives with’ a parent, that parent can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the other parent’s permission, unless the court order says otherwise. A parent with an order that states the child (or children) ‘spends time’ with them will always require the permission of everyone else who has parental responsibility for the children in order to travel abroad.

In other situations, it is generally advisable – and often necessary – to obtain the consent of everyone with parental responsibility before travelling abroad with a child and to have it in writing in case you are ever asked to provide evidence of that permission.

Parents should also think about:

• Passport arrangements
• Travel insurance
• Providing flight and accommodation details
• Emergency contact information

Open communication can help avoid unnecessary disputes.

If consent for travel cannot be agreed, legal advice may be needed before arrangements are finalised.

What if parents cannot agree summer holiday arrangements?

Disagreements about holiday contact are common, particularly in the early stages after separation.

Where communication becomes difficult, parents may benefit from family mediation or legal advice focused on practical resolution – advice should be taken at the early opportunity as waiting until a few weeks before the contested arrangement may not leave enough time for the issue to be resolved.

Court proceedings are usually considered a last resort. In most cases, reaching an agreement outside court is less stressful for both parents and children.

Creating positive memories during the holidays

The school holidays do not need to be expensive or perfectly planned to be meaningful.

Children often value:

• Quality time
• Consistent routines
• Feeling relaxed and secure
• Time with extended family and friends

Keeping conflict away from children and supporting their relationship with both parents can help create a more positive experience for everyone involved.

A practical and supportive approach

Separation changes family life, but with preparation, communication and flexibility, the school holidays can still be enjoyable and settled for children.

Planning ahead, staying child-focused and seeking support early where needed can make a significant difference during what is often an emotional time for families.

Need advice about child arrangements during the school holidays?

If you are struggling to agree holiday contact arrangements or have questions about travelling abroad with children after separation, speaking to a family law specialist can help you understand your options and reduce unnecessary stress. For expert family law advice, you can contact WSP Solicitors’ local offices, servicing the whole of Gloucestershire, including; Gloucester, Stroud, Cheltenham, Tewkesbury or the Forest of Dean, or use the enquiry form on this page to request a callback.

FAQs:

Can I take my child abroad without the other parent’s permission?

This depends on the circumstances and whether there is a Child Arrangements Order in place and what the wording of that order is. It is usually best to seek agreement before booking travel.

What happens if we cannot agree holiday contact arrangements?

Family mediation is often recommended before court proceedings. Many disputes can be resolved through supported discussion.

Do separated parents have to split the school holidays equally?

Not necessarily. Arrangements should reflect what works best for the child and the practical circumstances of each family.

Who keeps the child’s passport after separation?

There is no automatic rule. Parents should try to agree practical arrangements for storing and sharing passports when needed.

Disclaimer: The content of this website blog is for general awareness and insight. This is not legal or professional advice and readers should not act upon the information provided, they should seek professional advice based on their own particular circumstances. The law may have changed since this article was published.