Tips for Making the Most of the Mediation Process
If you’re considering mediation, Simon Hawkins, Associate Solicitor and Mediator at WSP Solicitors, shares his insights on how to make the process easier and more effective. Mediation can feel daunting, but with the right preparation and support, it can be a productive way to resolve disputes.
If you think you want to try mediation then call WSP Solicitors. You can have a discussion a mediator who can answer any initial questions you may have and we can send you our mediation guide – Your complete guide to mediation.
If you decide you want to proceed we can arrange the MIAMs (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). Both you and your ex partner will have their own MIAM. This will allow the mediator to explain the process and for you to explain your circumstances and identify what you want to achieve at mediation.
Tips to making the most of the mediation process:
Preparing for Mediation
Whilst mediation will take place in an informal atmosphere and the mediator will be present to facilitate and help progress the discussion it will nevertheless still be emotional. You will be discussing your relationship, the breakdown, how to co-parent and how to divide the financial assets. These are not easy conversations to have.
Use the MIAM to ask your mediator any questions you have regarding the process so you come away with a real understand of the mediation process.
Prior to mediation write a list of issues you wish to discuss and consider what you want to achieve this will help you remain focused in the meetings.
Gather your documents for mediaition
If you will be discussing a financial separation then you will need to enter into financial disclosure. It is therefore useful when separating to start collating your financial information. For example a common asset is the family home and post separation you will need somewhere to live. Therefore consider gathering information such as a property valuation, mortgage statement and speaking to a mortgage broker to see what you mortgage capacity is.
Here’s the list of common documents for financial disclosure:
- Property valuations
- Mortgage statements
- Mortgage capacity report
- Property particulars of suitable housing
- Bank statements
- Credit card statements
- Pension values (CETVs)
- Pay slips
- P60
- Self-assessment returns
- Business accounts
Tips for staying calm and focused during mediation
The process involves sensitive discussions about highly emotional topics. People are not always the best at expressing themselves and this can lead to misunderstandings. During the sessions remain clam and listen to each other. Try not to let the emotions cloud your judgment. Be open minded, this can be difficult when you may be listening to something you disagree with. Try and remain focused on the issue/topic being discussed, keep calm with an open mind and be positive. This will better allow you to consider all your options and make the right choices.
Make sure you arrive in good time for the session so you can settle in and are not rushed. Do not feel under pressure to make a decision. Remember the mediator is there to help facilitate the discussion so use them if you need help, they will be able to help you find a way forward.
It you are becoming stressed then take a break. You may wish to call a halt to the session or just have 5 minutes out.
The importance of legal and expert advice during mediation
A mediator has to remain impartial and cannot give you legal advice only information.
There is no right time within the process to get legal advice, but it is sensible to either at the start or during the process to obtain legal advice so you understand your legal entitlements. Knowing your legal position will also help you to be confident in the mediation sessions and to be realistic with regards your goals.
If your matter is complex for example involves a pension share or taxation issues you will need to consider getting advice from appropriate experts such as an actuary, accountant or financial adviser.
Making the most of your mediation sessions
Mediation will be a continuing discussion over a number of sessions. The number of sessions needed will vary between couples. You may find it useful after each session to write some brief notes. After each session it is helpful to reflect on what you have discussed, what has been agreed, what remains in dispute and proposal you may want to make at the next session.
It is unlikely that you will be able to resolve all the issues at the first meeting. Equally the process will require both individuals to negotiate and move towards the others position. Try an accept this and identify the issues that are important to you so you can secure the best outcome for you and your family.
If you think you want to try mediation, contact WSP Solicitors by emailing contact@wspsolicitors.com or using the enquiry form on the side of our website. You can have a discussion with a mediator who can answer any initial questions you may have, and we can send you our mediation guide – Your Complete Guide to Mediation